I am, and I'm not, looking forward to this. I'm well into my second flight towards Toronto with another 14 hours travelling time between me and the – no doubt – surly Canadian Immigration Official who'll greet me with a YOU'RE NOT COMING IN HERE straight face. Toronto - Vancouver - Victoria - Hollywood (Hooray for Hollywood!) Yes, that's how it's gonna go. Four gigs in four nights.

I prefer to do things this way, the compact way, so I can spend other weekends off with my family. It's DJing by mission though, not a quick flight here and there for a gig every weekend. Gigs on the bounce - in and out, very SAS. Yes! I like it like that.

Really though, I am looking forward to it because the last time I toured Canada and the States I had a great time......and after all, just saying to your mates back home....'yeah well I'm off to The States on tour' sounds pretty effin’ Rock & Roll IMO. LOL.... LMAO..... I'll get my coat. I am, however, not looking forward to the fact I'm getting straight off the plane and going to the club. You try staying sober in BA Club World ;) BUT...calm yourself Aydin, you're not even at Heathrow yet and you only have 30 mins to make your connection, so be still your beating heart.

ANYWAY.......I've just been told I'm to meet the big boss Mr D (with obligatory fluffy white cat) in Toronto so I'm hoping I'll have enough time to buy a shirt and tie in Heathrow. I make the flight by the skin of my inner thighs. Unfortunately, however, my bag decided London was far too an attractive stop off and stayed the extra night - in fact we're still not reunited and I'm now on my way to Vancouver.

I arrived last night in Toronto three hours late with Mr D shouting at me via text regarding my whereabouts. With just enough time to comb my eyebrows and turn my underwear inside out our tour manager Sarah sashayed into the lobby and whisked me to the club. The Roosevelt Room is a cool little venue engorged with the house glitterati of the city and as I walked in Simon was giving the 2000's a pasting. The friendly atmosphere relaxed me immediately and as I stood behind the booth I noticed an unusual amount of laydeez pumping their arms in the air around the booth to the Defected sound. Hmm…yes this is good I thought, until Simon turned around and shot my wandering mind down in flames. 'Chubby chasers' he whispered.

Simon Dunmore and our hero

So, as I mentioned, it was then off to Vancouver with the house crowd of another city waiting for me. I prayed my bag would meet me there but something told me I'd be one step ahead of it once again when it came to leave Vancouver.
Ginger 62 has got to be one of the oddest club names I've come across, but the venue oozes sophistication with a Soho House-esque interior. Roaring fires and armchairs share space with a firing sound system and a warm and friendly crowd. Luke, my travelling partner and general man about Canada stepped up to the plate first and, once again, fun was had by all - despite the fact that I played too.

The next morning I was met outside the hotel lobby by a moustachioed gentleman who climbed off his penny farthing to hand me a telegram. BA VERY SORRY STOP BAG IS NOW IN VANCOUVER STOP GET YOUR ARSE STROKE BUTT TO THE AIRPORT AND PICK IT UP STOP BY THE WAY YOU SMELL STOP. YOURS W WALSH

I leapt into the Lukemobile and we sped off due to the Law of Sod dictating that for once in my DJ career I wasn't due to catch a plane for the next destination but a ferry. Once the offending bag was safely tethered to our bumper we made our way to the port. 'Let's watch this new show called Eastbound & Down on my laptop' suggested Luke. 'It's great - it's produced by Will Ferrell'

Victoria has a nice feel to it. In fact it's very Victori........hmm who am I trying to kid? I didn't actually see anything of Victoria except the underside of a rather fetching duvet. I needed sleep if I was to maintain my jovial demeanour for the Victorians - are they called that?

Victoria - not that ATFC would recognise it

Anyway, rewind a little to where I had just checked in to the hotel and made my way to my room. I opened the door and was met by a horrific sight. Curtains strewn on the floor, sideboard tipped over, bed linen in a heap in the corner, a huge hole in the wall of the shower with pipes and electrical cables spewing from all manner of orifices. My tired mind panicked. Shit, I've been robbed! What have they taken? Someone's obviously trashed the room looking for something - but what?? Who was out to get me? Was my 'lost' bag part of some elaborate drug trafficking scam? Was my 'bag' now a 'MULE'???..... Oh hang on I thought as I came to my senses. There was nothing of mine in the room to steal because it was all in 2 bags sitting next to me in the corridor - doh!

"Sorry sir - I mistakenly gave you a room that we're renovating. Here's an upgrade" the receptionist said with a giggle.

39 winks later I walked into Boutique and right in the middle of the dancefloor were a group of pretty young ladies dressed as schoolgirls playing volleyball over a net. Once I'd individually thanked each and every one of my lucky stars, I got up off my knees and parked myself behind the dj booth (the main reason being the vantage point) For the entire duration of my set, pig tails were waving and knee length socks were being kicked into the air to the sound of the 4/4 but, as is normally the case in my world, after the lights were turned on I was left surrounded by the only male contingent talking music and putting the industry to rights.

So, the end of my four night tour was looming with The Monday Night Social @ The Playhouse in Hollywood awaiting me as my last stop.

I had a great time in LA previously so my hopes were high. The night has been running for 14 years on, arguably, the quietest night of the week in clubland and as has featured a who's who of the DJ fraternity including Fatboy Slim, Groove Armada, Digweed, Lawler, DJ Muggs from Cypress Hill etc etc. I knew I had free reign musically which excited me. Needless to say The Playhouse gave me new faith in midweek clubbing as 500 open minded clubbers ventured out on a school night to make my send off extra special.

As I sat in the lounge in LAX on that sunny Tuesday afternoon waiting to board the plane back to LHR I looked up to see a familiar face. After a few minutes of brain searching there it was...Will Ferrell! Anchorman! Blades Of Glory! One of the best known comedy actors in Hollywood. Oh no - do I tell him I'd just got hooked on Eastbound & Down? Do I leave him alone? I chose the latter. While I was organising myself and getting comfortable for the long flight who came and sat across from me? Will Ferrell! Do I tell him I'd just got hooked on Eastbound & Down? Do I leave him alone? I chose the latter. In Heathrow as I was waiting to board my next flight to Madrid someone came and sat next to me at the gate......Will Ferrell! Do I tell him I'd just got hooked on Eastbound & Down? Do I leave him alone? I chose the latter. Got on the plane, parked myself, who was in the seat next to me? Have a guess.

Will Ferrell (ATFC not pictured)

I never spoke to Will Ferrell but feel we had a kind of mutual connection on those flights - after all, he was obviously following me and must have been as starstruck as I was....bless him.

Thanks to Sarah, Luke, Danny, Freddy Be, Jesse, Omar and of course Will Ferrell.

Aydin