It’s slightly weird having your parents enter the ‘Ibiza World’. I wouldn’t have them on a night out with me at home and Ibiza is like one big night out but it’s something that – in my case at least – had to be done.
My mum came over last week for a few nights on her annual ‘Check up on Rebecca trip’. For some reason she decided to spend ridiculous money on staying at El Hotel but I think it must have been something to do with it being the Pacha Hotel and – knowing she wouldn’t actually go to the club – at least she has been to it in some way! Anyway, great news for me as I was secretly thinking this would be perfect as it’s only a stumble across the road from Pacha. Of course, she didn’t know I was going to crash her room but I thought it would be nice for us to do some bonding!
After she arrived we went for Pizza and I got a lovely heap of normal ‘parent questions’ like “How do you stay awake all night?” “How many drugs have you been taking?” “How much sleep have you had?” I like to actually exaggerate the answers to these and make things seem worse than they are, purely for my own amusement at the reaction it causes, both from her and the neighbouring tables.
El Hotel
After pizza, it was back to the hotel for a cocktail before I hit Space and a coffee before she hit bed! She seemed pretty shocked when the lady asked for €12 for my ‘Pornstar’ but I told her to prepare herself as this was actually pretty cheap! Of course I couldn’t let her complete her first evening without a drink, so I laced her coffee with a bit of whisky when she nipped to the loo! She didn’t even notice! I was getting flashbacks of when my mum caught me trying to poison my Grandmother when I was about 5 by putting whatever I could find into a bottle of squash, but this time I had only the best intentions!
After a relatively early night I was awake in time for breakfast a bit of beach therapy. Later on we went for walk into Ibiza Town for shopping and had dinner at a lovely restaurant called ‘La Brasa’. She commented on how quiet the island seemed. I laughed and said that it seems that way as no one else goes for dinner at 6.30pm!
Plying her with Champagne
Monday night was Swedish House Mafia at Pacha so off we go back to the hotel, she decided she wanted to check it out at least and she assumed we would be going out by midnight. When I told her we definitely won’t be going anywhere until 2am she freaked out a little as she wanted to be asleep by then and also said that she would be very worried if I wasn’t back once it got light. Why do they start worrying once they’re actually with you!? Personally I think a walk across the road and a night at Pacha is rather tame compared to a lot of other situations but I decided maybe not to tell her about these for now!
She walked with me to Pacha so she could see what the queue was like, and we bumped into a group of people I vaguely knew. When I told them that this was my mum, but that she was tired and wasn’t going out, one of the guys sidled up to my mum, asked him to hold out her hand. “This’ll keep you awake” he said as he dropped a pill into her hand. I’ve never seen her looked so surprised! She chucked it into a nearby bush as quickly as she could move, as if she thought the whole of the police force would descend upon her in an instant!
Swedish House Mafia was heaps of fun, maybe a little too much as suddenly it was 7am and I am stumbling out of Pacha…oooopsie! Oh well, she’ll get over it, and I’m sure I’ll be fine once I get a little sleep…
Less than 2 hours later and I am being shook awake…OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO please let me sleep!!! It was horrendous, lack of sleep and severe hangover and I had to go to Blue Marlin. As soon as I got in the taxi I fell straight back asleep. We arrived at Blue Marlin and there were no sunloungers available, so I suggested that we go to Sa Caleta Beach as that was where we were planning on eating later anyway. We got there and it was towel to towel sunbathing but we manage to squeeze in…although 5 minutes later I realised I would probably puke if sat in the sun any longer so I went and found myself a rock to crawl under and fell asleep again!
Sa Caleta Beach
Looking back on it, it wasn’t too bad and of course it was nice to see her but I don’t think she really got the best out of me purely as we are now on completely different time-zones! My advice would be for people to definitely get their parents to bring a friend if they are visiting so you don’t feel so bad about falling asleep. I probably haven’t eased her worries as now it looks like I definitely don’t get enough sleep (which I actually do!) and stay out too late but hey, these trips have to be done!
Oh yeah, and never let your mum close to people who are liberal with their drugs!
Hasta luego!
Bex
xxx
Defected In The House will be at Pacha every Saturday throughout the season - click here for full listings and you can buy tickets for any night here.
